The Three Hardest and Three Easiest Things About Going Back to Work After Having a Baby

Illustration by Allie Runnion for Just Us Gals

For new moms (or second, third, fourth, etc. time moms), maternity leave can be a wonderful experience to bond with your baby, introduce them to family and friends, and acclimate to this huge change. Whether you are fortunate enough to be granted maternity leave through your workplace, or have to go back to work quickly after having your child, it is a learning experience to resume your professional life while juggling motherhood. Here are three things I found to be fairly challenging in returning to work after my daughter was born, and three things that were less of an adjustment.

What Was Challenging

• Giving ourselves enough time to get ready in the morning
  The first couple of weeks were spent figuring out much time we needed to get ready and out the door in time to make it to my office. Daycare is about fifteen minutes away, and my commute takes roughly an hour. I had to calculate through trial and error how much time I would need to get my daughter changed, fed, and ready to go. I also tried to factor in traffic and allow us an extra five to ten minutes to bring her into daycare, bring the teachers up to speed with how her morning was going, and to say goodbye. What was extremely helpful was prepping as much as possible the night before. This included packing her daycare bag with supplies, as well as having her bottles labeled and ready to grab out of the fridge in the morning.

• Coordinating pick-up from daycare after work
  With unpredictable traffic commuting home from Uptown, it was stressful at times to make sure that either my husband or myself were able to pick up my daughter in time. The daycare workers have to stay late and the family gets charged if they are late in picking up their child, so we wanted to make sure we were there before 6:30 every evening. What worked was communicating with my husband every day depending on our workday schedules to coordinate who was able to pick her up based on who had more flexibility that day regarding when they could leave the office.

• Leaving my baby with others
  Lastly, it was emotional to leave my firstborn with individuals that I did not know very well. We did tour the daycare beforehand and had met the principal, as well as her room teachers, which helped a lot. It can be hard, so give yourself some grace! Some of my friends did “practice runs” when it was time to start daycare, so they were still on maternity leave but brought their child to daycare for a few days in order to get the hang of things without having to then go into the office for a full day of work.

What Worked Well

• Preparation and Communication
  Before going out on maternity leave, I had multiple conversations with my supervisor about work coverage while I was gone, so I felt comfortable knowing that certain mandatory tasks would be taken care of while I was out. This definitely helped with my return and easing back into professional life, in that I didn’t feel enormous pressure to complete huge projects right away. The first few days were spent catching up on emails and voicemails before diving back in to bigger tasks. 

• Doing Plenty of Childcare Research
  Finding daycare can be an overwhelming process and it was hard to even know where to begin. We do not have family nearby to watch our daughter, so we knew right away that she would be attending a local daycare. What helped my search initially was using the state website to find licensed daycare that had either a four or five star rating (out of five). That narrowed my search down and I began reaching out and touring several facilities. We had put down a deposit at one childcare center while I was pregnant, and after seeing some more information online, ultimately ended up switching daycares before she was born and are so happy with the one we selected.

• Emotional Support 
  One of the biggest pieces of advice I can give is to reach out to friends and family members who have children of their own to talk about how you’re feeling, get practical tips, or to vent. Going back to work after your baby is born can bring up a lot of feelings, and it was so helpful to be able to talk to loved ones about their experience. Chances are they went through a very similar process when they went back to work and will be able to offer up suggestions or simply validate what you are going through. 

The New Realities

Due to Covid-19, childcare and the workplace is looking different these days. Many individuals have lost their jobs or are furloughed. For those that are still employed, a lot of in-person offices are closed for the time being and employees are working out home while their children are out of school or daycare. Balancing work with small (or older) children at home is a different kind of challenge from the usual workweek juggling act. Here are a couple of tips that have helped my husband and me while caring for a baby while both working full time from home.

• Designate Space
  This is not always a realistic option depending on your living space, but if you are able, create or designate a spot in your house where you are able to focus and close a door to have some quiet and privacy. It can be very tempting to want to be around your kids and have them within eyesight at all times, but if you and your partner are able to switch off times in the “office” space, it will be much easier to concentrate and get quality work done. You’ll then feel better when you take breaks or switch off to spend time with your children.

• Discuss Calendars
  You may already be doing this with your partner regarding activities outside of work, but now that work and home are no longer separate, it’s important to discuss your work day in order to trade off watching your children. At the beginning of each day, we discuss what time we have mandatory meetings, and do our best to alternate so that, ideally, no one has to be on a meeting while also trying to wrangle a mobile baby.

Remember, life will eventually not look like this! No one planned to raise children during a global pandemic. You’re doing a great job, and open communication with your partner and workplace about what is realistic to accomplish and when you simply need a sanity break will make a big difference in your mental health and wellbeing as we all power through this difficult time.

Heather Finn is a clinical social worker living and working in North Carolina. You can follow Heather on Twitter @heatherlynnsw.

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