Who's that Gal: Aiko Bethea, CEO and Founder at RARE Coaching and Consulting

Name: Aiko Bethea
Pronouns: she/her/hers
Age: 40s
Occupation: Founder, RARE Coaching
Currently living in: Atlanta
Hometown: Spartanburg, SC
Currently reading:  The Wake Up by Michelle Mi Jung Kim
Favorite wellness ritual: Walking
I never leave home without____:  A book, you never know when you'll be stuck in traffic, a line, etc.; cell phone- for obvious reasons, including the word game apps

Let’s start with the basics. What drew you to a career in Equity work?

My lived experience. Seeking equity for my family and community has been one of the few constants throughout my life. My values are Justice and Loyalty- so that makes equity pretty much a non-negotiable. I was raised in a Japanese-speaking household in Spartanburg, SC. I was raised low-income in a loving Black community. There's so much richness in this experience I had, but there are many built-in restrictions and limits in possibilities, even possibilities for joy and thriving.

Why did you decide to take the leap into Equity work full time?

I was living it full-time, which means I was automatically bringing this lens to my work and leadership. Why not be paid explicitly to bring this skill to leaders and organizations who didn't appear to have it? I also center the experiences and voices of historically colonized folx. This is validating for them and supports them in owning their brilliance. This approach also elevates the emotional intelligence of those who do not know what it is like to be historically colonized.

What does Equity really mean to you?

It means that systems and people do not default to ignoring and dismissing historical and systemic colonization and marginalization of folx, and that they proactively and consistently work to disempower or dismantle these systems, which include holding perpetuators accountable.

What are some of the challenges you face when helping people understand why Equity and Inclusion matter?

I no longer try to convince people that this matters. Now I focus on supporting people in making it happen, in identifying how they can be equitable and inclusive, and how they can make the spaces they are a part of be so as well. I also support historically and systemically colonized folx not to internalize the outputs or messages of inequity and exclusion. This supports us in being empowered, setting boundaries, honoring out boundaries, and gifting ourselves more emotional capacity to survive, and thrive- experiencing joy and seeing our own brilliance.

Any advice for aspiring Allies?

Listen for understanding and connection, not to be right and not to self-protect. Also, be open to being the villain in someone else's story. As systemically and historically colonized folx, we are used to being the villain by default. We're automatically perceived to be thieves and are followed in stores. We know at any time we can be arrested and killed under the color of law for "not complying," or simply being Black. We know that we can be deemed as the aggressor, by merely not smiling or prioritizing the comfort and fears of everyone around us. We are always prepared to be the villain in someone else's story, even though this label is completely unearned and undeserved. But oftentimes others (let's say someone in white skin) will flare up, become defensive and angry, shut down, etc. if there is even the tiniest hint that they are the villain in someone's (or a whole community or race of folx) story, despite the fact this person and their community is oppressed and subject to the perpetual power of white people. People cannot even imagine or pause to consider that they are the villain of someone else's story. They cannot believe it. They refuse to consider it. They refuse to acknowledge historical and current day quality of life for so many. They cannot even begin to imagine it and they refuse to believe us. They will rage against the slightest hint of this possibility. You cannot be an ally without considering: What's my part in this? What MIGHT be my part in this? Without introspection, you cannot be an ally.

What does your typical day look like?

"Research," which looks like a social media review, ensure kids are up and on point for what they should be doing (kids are still doing virtual school), work (reviewing client requests, providing deliverables- keynotes, facilitation, coaching, tending to the company: strategy, finances, tending to the team), writing- meeting deadlines for the fiction book I'm writing, and writing articles about stuff that usually pertains to equity.) Throughout the day I'm tending to my two teens, texting friends and family, and imagining. Imagining is the most important tool I have to invite change. At night--I wind down with a walk, hanging with the kids, reading, or streaming something. I'm usually back up by 4 a.m.

How do you balance your career and your personal life?

My career is so entrenched in my values that it isn't separate from my personal life. I don't want it to be. But, I do separate tactical aspects of work from my personal life because I have to stop the "doing" of work to ensure that I'm "being" present for my kids and even my own needs. Right now, the struggle is real for me to get more physical activity in place and to do things with my kid that they actually want to engage in. This is a result of COVID.

What’s next for Aiko? What’s next for you personally?

Cozy comfort books got me through the last few years of COVID and enduring the perpetual violence against people of color that's been on full display. On display has also been our collective pain and hurt. The cozy comfort genre has a nice lightness about it. My only complaint is I wanted more protagonists that look like me. So, I decided to write my own series. This series centers on a Black woman who is a recovering attorney and who is now an entrepreneur. She lives in the South and she is defining success on her own terms and creating the life she wants as opposed to the life she's been told she should want. New Degree Press is publishing it and it will be out in Spring 2022. The working title of the first book in the series is: Meet Tamika Robinson. I hope that readers will fall in love with Tamika and her community, just like I have. I want Black brilliance, community, joy, laughter and success to be normalized more than Black trauma has been.

The second thing next on my list- is ensuring that folx understand that RARE Coaching & Consulting isn't a "DEI" company. We are a leadership development agency. DEI are enabled and elevated via competent leadership. That has always been our approach. We cannot support creating more diverse, equitable, and inclusive organizations if DEI is perceived to be something separate from or in addition to leadership. People simply cannot be competent leaders if they don't know how to enable and elevate DEI. End of story.

What’s one of your most memorable career moments?

When I worked at the City of Atlanta no one questioned my smarts or abilities. The City Attorney, Linda DiSantis, took bets on me as did two of my bosses, Stacey Abrams and Lee Hannah. I was provided the opportunity to build new teams, create and implement new systems and processes. I was able to exercise leadership, use my voice, and do all of this when there were high stakes. I'll never forget defending depositions of Mayor Franklin. When I moved from Atlanta to Seattle, I was perpetually perceived to be, or at least treated to be at a deficit with my voice being diminished despite my depth of experience and credentials. I'll never forget the paranoia and anxiety levels of colleagues who worked in that space. Toxic productivity and perfectionism were the constant order of the day. I had great practice at both, but knew that wasn't how I wanted to exist. There are still folx who feel they've "made it" by wearing the name of these employers as a badge of honor as opposed to pursuing the lives they truly want. I want to show people they have options and choices to thrive in their workplace. I hope I'm doing that through my company's coaching practice, the curricula I've developed, and by modeling this with my own life.

What’s one question that keeps you up at night?

Will my two Black boys be able to thrive and bask in all out joy in this world? Will the world be different for my grandkids and for brown communities?

Learn more about Aiko in her podcast interview with Brene Brown!

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Allie Kovalik is a content contributor who has an ear for music, an eye for dogs, and a taste for tacos. Follow all three of her adventures (and many more) on Instagram: @alliek20

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